It's Super Bowl Sunday. Big deal. The Packers are playing. Big deal. Personally, I don't give a rats ass about either of those things. It's just the way I am. Bite me!!!
Anyway, dinner was ready and the half time show was about to start so we decided to eat in front of the TV because I'm a major fan of the Black Eyed Peas. I think Fergie is totally hot. And she has a smoking set of legs that go all the way up to her ass. Which is good, I guess, since that is where they are supposed to go anyway. Right??? So we watch the half time show, which by the way, bore a striking resemblance to the opening ceremony of Beijing Summer Olympics in my opinion. The show ends, they cut to commercial and Sea Squirt looks at me and asks "Hey, where was Fergie?" I look back at him with a somewhat confused look on my brain and ask "What???" "Where was Fergie? How did we miss her?" he asks. OK, now I'm confused. Is he suffering from that arterial flow problem above the shoulders like Bernice Clifton did??? "She was on stage for more that 20 minutes!!! How could you miss her???" I say.
He's giving me this deer in headlights look. I knew I was in trouble. Time to take his pulse, I thought. And then he looks me square in the eye and says "I didn't see the Duchess of York. Where was she???" I about coughed up a Hebrew National... He ACTUALLY thought that they had hired Sarah, Duchess of York to do the Super Bowl half time show!!! I'm not kidding!!! What the fuck was he thinking??? That she was going to waddle up on stage at the 50 yard line and start hawking Weight Watchers entrees??? That little chimp at the top of my Blog has more common sense than that!!! I swear to god, I'm gonna make cannon fodder out of him!!!
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