The only saving grace is that it has a view and a private dipping pool. The burning on my face is "lessening" a "bit" but I now it now looks like I have rug burn from a really fun gay orgy. As the face down bottom. Oh well...
Today I picked up two new prescriptions. An anti-fungal cream for my feet that is forcing me to wear socks. AAAUUGGHHH!!!! My hands are a whole other ball of wax. They are now marinating in a corticosteroid ointment that has the consistency of Vaseline, i.e., does NOT absorb!!! And it comes with wonderful warnings like: can cause liver failure, do not touch other parts of your body (OK, these are my hands and my body. Think about it!!!) and avoid contact with your face (is that actually possible???). Not only am I now capable of flunking a steroid abuse test, so are lots of things in the apartment. The stereo, my keyboard, the mouse, all of the door knobs, most of the remotes, some furniture and the phone. Thank god, none of them are in the Olympics!!! Two hours ago my third nipple began lactating wildly. Fortunately I have already managed to get rid of over a gallon of it on eBay and Craig's List so far... I am like a kitten in mittens at the moment. I am quickly learning how to use my elbows, knees and an errant sock to "function". On the upside, Sea Squirt gets to make dinner for the next month, on the down side I know now what a paraplegic goes through.
This just totally SUCKS ASS!!! BIG TIME!!! I used to think that doing Cipro to treat Lyme Disease was the worst thing I have ever been through. I have a whole new perspective now. I would rather eat shit and date a Roman Catholic at this point!!! Right now, giving the Pope a rim job would be a welcome alternative!!! OK, TMI... From my eyeballs to my toe nails I am screwed at the moment. At this point, that weekend my head exploded and I ended up in a neurosurgery ICU is starting to look like a pleasant memory. Hell, almost a welcome one!!! I just want to pick something up with my bare hands!!! Or at the very least regain the use of my opposable thumbs again. Although, I have to say, I do kind of like my sock puppet thing. I have named him "Judy". Don't ask...
Since tomorrow is predicted to be perfect grilling weather I bought a couple of pounds of boneless pork ribs, some chicken and a couple of sweet potatoes on my way to the pharmacy. Can't imagine how I am going to pull this one off. I am sure that Sea Squirt will have it uploaded on YouTube by tomorrow evening. Just Google "bbq, grilling, guy with the pencil in his mouth and 911". I know it will be there...
Oh god, just shoot me...
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