Ah, the Bonobo. Ever heard of these creatures? What a noble thing they are. They are our closest living relative. Really! I'm not kidding. They make chimpanzee's look like monkeys in an evolutionary sense. They were once thought to be "de-evolved" chimpanzees but are now realized to be the progenitor of us, humans. While we share 98% of our DNA with chimps we share almost 99% of our DNA with the Bonobo. They are amazingly intelligent, they recognize themselves in mirrors, use and MAKE tools, communicate in what we recognize as a "language", are highly endangered and are the only primate species to be officially termed as truly matrilineal in nature. Yep, it's all about the females here. Oh yeah, and BTW these things are horny as hell. Because of that only 3 zoos in the world have ever tried to exhibit them. Even researchers have a problem publishing things on them. How can you do a presentation or slide show when all you can show is apes fucking their brains out? Straight sex, gay sex, two ways, three ways, four ways, orgies, missionary, oral, anal, incest, self-gratification, hanging upside down in trees, hanging up-right in trees, doing it in a pile of leaves, doing it without leaves. Hell, just about everything except dressing up like Ethel Merman and doing it in drag! Although that may not be too far off. Seems to work for them though.
The troupe is led by an Alpha female, her sisters and female relatives. The males are only tolerated until they reach adulthood at which point they are chased off to fend for themselves and they become some other troupes brood stallion for awhile. Sex seems to be the negotiating factor for conflict resolution within the troupe. Hey, works for me, too!
So, back to Bonobo intelligence. A while back I say a news story on line about a Bonobo that was raised by a human family that had to give her up. Her name was Judy. They could not find a sanctuary that would take her but finally found a former research facility that housed great apes in a compound that was suitable for a creature of her history. She was kept with other Bonobos in an environment that was both comfortable and filled with stimulation to keep her happy and healthy. Although caged for part of the day she was allowed free time and play with the other Bonobos and interaction with humans at the center. One morning the caregivers arrived to find Judy out of her cage and roaming freely in the room. Back in the cage Judy! The next day the same thing. A couple of days later they found her outside of the room and roaming in the hallway. Beyond a punch key access door. Next day, the same thing. A couple of days later they found her not only out of the hallway but in the lunch room. Again beyond a punch key access door. A few days later they found her in the lobby, again beyond a punch key door, sleeping on a desk. With a toilet bowl brush beside her and all of the restrooms spotless. Trust me, I'm not making this shit up! Not only had she been trained to do some simple household chores by her former owners she had also managed to learn all of the punch key codes at the facility she was now being housed at just by watching as she was led around the place by the workers!
Ah, Judy, ain't opposable thumbs the most amazing things? I've heard she's now the programming director at CBS and working on a screen play that has been optioned by Steven Spielberg. I see an Emmy in this ones future!!!
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