Oh, yeah, this is a serious long holiday weekend for me. I get to start out with Halloween and finish up with Dia de Muertos. Nothing could be finer. Except maybe to be in Caroliner. Not really, Caroliner sucks rocks. But these two holidays totally rock in my opinion.
Halloween. Ah, candy from strangers. As a small gay child I thought this was the most awesome thing in the world. It was a concept that still serves me very well to this day. When I was young, if you were a stranger I was more than happy to take your candy. Now that I am old (and strange) I get to give you candy. Especially if you are dressed up funny. Or if I'm dressed up funny. And that seems to happen a lot so I keep LOTS of candy on hand. It's a win-win in my world... I've been known to give out so much candy that two dentists actually sent me thank-you notes for their new Mercedes. What can I say, I'm a giver.
But Dia de Muertos holds a place in my heart that is so special it hurts. It's an amazing Mexican holiday when the dead get to come back into the physical world and do a little living again. And enjoy a feast of comfort foods. The whole family spends a week cleaning, weeding and painting the graves of their dead relatives in preparation for a two day long tail gate party up in the cemetery. They light enough candles to be seen from space, they build alters, they bring in enough marigolds to fill a stadium and cover the grave with all of grandma's favorite food and drink. And then they start cooking. Oh lord, do they cook. Stereo's are blasting everywhere, cigars are being smoked and fresh decks of cards are broken open for poker games that give a whole new meaning to a "dead mans hand". It's a party of amazing proportion that goes on for two days, 24/7 and in their minds grandma REALLY is there. That is the most single healthy concept of death I have ever heard in my life. And the best part is this wonderful delicacy known as Pan de Muerto. The Bread of the Dead. In Mexico this is apparently like heroin to dead people. Or crack. Doesn't matter, this stuff totally rocks!!!
Pan de Muerto is a dense, SWEET bread, full of butter, Mexican vanilla, a touch of cinnamon and so totally glazed in egg yolks and sugar that it will stop your heart just by being near it. It also has two "secret ingredients" that until last week I had no idea about. A wonderful Mexican ex-pat who runs a local pasteleria not too far from here took me into his confidence after seeing my Chiva's key ring and my Virgin de Guadalupe t-shirt as I stocked up on Pan de Muerto and skull candies like a sex addict in the red light district. And I have to say, the two ingredients blew me away. One I hate and the other I have never heard of. The first is star anise (think the taste of black licorice---YUCK!!!) and the other is something called agua de azahar (orange blossom water) which according to him is totally unavailable in the States. Even he smuggles it in. From him I learned that when you mix those two things together you get something so totally different it confuses the hell out of your taste buds and you get the essence of Pan de Muerto. A subtle yet multi-layered melange of things that is both smell and taste. In a word: Heaven!!! It's fat, it's carbs, it's sugar, hell, it's everything but chocolate. But... if you dip this stuff in hot chocolate... Well, let's just say it's like the highway to hell. In a Hemi. Naked. In reverse. At 3 AM. In the wrong lane. Need I say more???
Here's to ghosts and goblins. Here's to dead folks coming back for a night and having a tail gate party. But most importantly, here's to PASTRY!!! Can it get ANY better than that??? Pass the butter...
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