Thursday, August 26, 2010

Ever have one of those lives????

So, here I am.  With a Blog.  I swore I would never do this.  It's the computer version of snail mail junk mail in my opinion....  usually some lonely internet geek with no friends or some ranting loony with way too much time on their hands.  Ok, that last could very well be me. But here I am anyway.  Bare with me, this could get ugly after awhile.  Who knows.  Here goes.  Fasten your seat belts because I do promise a bumpy ride!

I'm 57, retired, balding and as gay as paper umbrella in a boat drink.  Which, by the way, I happen to enjoy.  Boat drinks that is, not paper umbrellas.  Unless of course I'm on a boat.  A really, really BIG boat.  Somewhere in the tropics preferably.   Put me under a palapa in Mexico and I'm more than likely quite sociable.  Even giggly.  Put me back up here in Wisconsin and I can be a bigger bitch than Bette Davis on the brown acid.  What can I say, I pick my role models VERY carefully!

Like I said, I'm 57.  When the bloody hell did I get this old????  When I look in a mirror I see my father.  Hell, I see my grandfather!  Can you believe I used to be one of those wonderfully hot clones on Castro Street back in the  70's?  I used to be HOT.  Now I'm merely tepid.  But only after you let me set out in the sun for awhile.  Not too long though, if I lose too much moisture I start to crack like a Da Vinci fresco.  That may look good on a wall in the Vatican but it looks like crap in my mirror.  Trust me, my mirror wouldn't lie. 

I drive a Dodge.  Yes, a Dodge for Christ's sake!  That's like the Edsel of the new millennium in my opinion.  Only without the panache.  Or the V-8.  Or the resale value.  Had I bought an Edsel when I was 5 years old I'd be a millionaire today.  Still 57 and balding but a millionaire nonetheless.  With my own private palapa in Mexico.  And a boat drink!  Hey, I have my priorities!!!!

Snug up those seat belts, there's more to come!!!!!

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