Friday, April 29, 2011

This Wedding Is Just Out Of Control!!!

OK,  I think Kate (now HRH Princess Katherine) Middleton is a smashing little dish of porridge and that Prince William is the most "normal" Windsor I have seen in my lifetime.  As Patsy Stone was want to say "Oh, yes, the Royals.  Every 4 or 5 generations they're forced to shag a commoner just to maintain bone structure!!!"  It's true!  That clan is more inbred than Mexican street dogs.  But I digress...

She had three completely different custom designed wedding dresses.  Two as backup in case the main one got leaked to the press.  I don't even want to know the cost of that fashionista debacle...

This wedding is big.  BIG!!!  Westminster Abbey.  1600 guests.  600 of which are invited to the reception at the palace.  300 of which get to come to the dinner that follows.  How the hell did the Queen narrow that down???  Hey, thanks for filling some seats at the Abbey, don't want to see most of you at the reception and then we are "escorting" half of you out afterwards.  Thanks for the gifts but don't expect dinner???  Oh well, so much for Royal etiquette...

Speaking of Royal etiquette...  guess where Kate's parents are staying at right now???  A hotel two blocks from the palace.  Yep.  Buckingham Palace has 58 full bedroom suites and 78 bathrooms and the soon to be inlaws are at a hotel???  That's rude!!!  Even for the Windsor's.  Your Majesty, the Clampett's are here...

Did you see the "foliage" inside the abbey?  Four TONS (yes, TONS)  of flowers and a double row of trees 300 feet long up the aisle.  Estimated cost: $150,000 US.  That's a freaking house!!!

The cost of security (all of it double time) and cleanup in the streets is staggering.

The Windsor's are pulling out all of the stops on this one to be sure.  This is more than pomp and circumstance, this is more than the GNP of Sri Lanka for god's sake.  Security has to be insane.  What were they thinking of when they invited the Ambassador of Syria???  Ahh, yes, former British possession.  Yet, the Obama's got snubbed by protocol.  I hope they send an assorted basket of goodies  from Family Dollar and a $50 gift card from Target.  Which, BTW, has no outlets in England.  BITE ME!!!

I was up at 4 AM watching the live coverage from London.  I wanted to see that dress!!!  If it involved 8 million dead silk worms and a hectare of dead oysters worth of pearls I would puke.  I wanted to see something new.  Something contemporary.  Something PERSONAL!!!  Something Kate!!!  And I'll be damned, she did it.  That girl has style!!!

The reception is destined to be a bit of nightmare and David Lench in a blender.  The dinner for 300 "select" guests afterwards is rumored to be costing about $100,000 US.  Do the math, that's over $300 per guest.  WTF are they eating???  Gold???  I wonder if this was an open bar thing...  The bash after dinner had to be a hoot.  It was held in the throne room and was organized by Kate's younger sister.  She actually managed to hang disco balls in the throne room!!!  I LOVE IT!!!  Ya think they danced to "YMCA"???  Prince William fought for this because in his words, they both needed a place to properly let their hair down.  Have you seen his hairline lately???

Oh, yeah, BTW, after some number crunching a lot of reports are coming in that say when all is said and done this little soire is going to end up costing somewhere around (hang on to your hats.  And lord weren't there some UGLY ones of those at this wedding???) $6,000,000,000 US.  Yes, you heard me right, 6 BILLION!!!  Sri Lanka is just shrugging it's shoulders...

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