Sunday, March 13, 2011

Once Again, It's Recipe Time!!l

Well, it's almost the middle of March, we have a batch of horny male cardinals doing their mating call outside so Spring really must be on it's way.  Please, god, tell me it is.  I'm sick of shoveling the car out!!!  Ah, Spring...  To me that means only one thing:  it's time to start making Summer Drinks again.  So, with that, I share one of my favorite recipes. SANGRIA  BLANCA!!!

OK, I know, traditionally Sangria is made with red wine, hence the name which in Spanish means "blood".  A bit vampirish for my tastes but a hell of  cocktail none the less.  I consume it by the pitcher full when we are in Mexico.  However, I am a truly loyal fan of the white wine version of it which has the added perk of not dying all of the fruit an odd shade of purple.  Not that purple is bad it just looks odd on apples and pears.  BTW, Sangria has a rather strange past, it was developed as a way of using wine that was "iffy" at best and adding stuff to it to make it palatable.  Waste no, want not.  I love that...

So, here is what you are going to need:

2 One gallon jars with good sealing lids
4 Big limes
4 Big lemons
6 Big juice oranges
2 Cups sugar
1 Pint of white rum
4 Healthy jiggers of brandy
2 Cups of Triple Sec.
1 Five liter box of the cheapest white wine you can find.  Trust me!
1 Large mixing bowl full of sliced seasonal fruits.  More on that later.
3 to 4 liters of 7-Up or ginger ale.  More on that later as well.
1 Hour in the kitchen getting it all prepared.

Put a cup of sugar into each container and split the juice of the first 3 ingredients equally between them.  Then split the rum and brandy between them and stir them until most of sugar has dissolved.  When you finally get tired of trying to get all of the sugar to dissolve (trust me, it won't) add a liter of wine to each container and keep stirring until it finally does actually dissolve.  Split the rest of the box of wine equally between the two containers and stir it some more just for good measure.  Then pour yourself a small glass and see what it tastes like.  I usually have two just to make sure...  Trust me, I know what I'm doing!!!

OK, now it's time to add the fruit.  Use your imagination.  I like sliced oranges, pears, plums, peaches, strawberries, some melon of some sort, whatever is one sale at the time.  Any combination that strikes your fancy.  Oh yeah, don't forget the apples!!!  Apples are nothing more than natures little sponges that soak up alcohol faster than Bounty paper towels.  Granny Smiths are my favorite.  Trust me, 10 to 12 apple slices and you're pissed up to your tits in less than half an hour.  After you equally divide the fruit between the two containers give them a gentle stir to mix things up a bit, some fruit sinks, some floats, get over it.  Then pour one cup of the Triple Sec into each container as a floater and seal them up and put them in the fridge for at least 24 hours.  This is where the good sealing lid part comes in.  It allows you to lay them on their sides on the bottom shelf and just take them out and shake them every 4 to 6 hours to mix them up a bit while the flavors marry.

Now, when the crowd shows up (I did remind you to throw a party, didn't I???) pour the two containers into another LARGE container.  I recommend a dedicated three and half gallon Sangria "font" with a built in pouring valve.  god, I just love single use kitchen appliances!!!  This would normally be where I would then add the three to four liters of pop to the thing, give it quick stir and let everyone just help themselves but I have chosen to tweak the recipe this year.  Leave the pop in the pantry and  add the 4 bottles of Freixenet Carta Nevada Semi Seco Sparkling Wine that you put down in the crisper drawer yesterday instead.  It's a wonderful and inexpensive Spanish bubbly.  Your guests will never know the difference.  Hell, they won't even know their own names in about 30 minutes.

Put the "font" on the counter with a large bucket of ice, lots of 24-ounce glasses and a set of tongs so you can access the fruit (remember, those apples are REALLY good!!!) and just let your guests dive into the deep end and create their own fruit filled concoctions.  Then just stand back and "laissez le bon temps rouler" as they say.

Oh yeah, one caveat, you might want to put a small sign somewhere in the vacinity that reads something to the effect of:

"The consumption of alcohol may result in dizziness, dry mouth, motor mouth, potty mouth, a punch in the mouth, uncontrollable laughter, the annoying ability to love everyone, your clothes to fall off, stupidness, "dancing", loudness, unwaivering courage, double vision, invincibility, invisiblity, spontaneous combustion and pregnancy.  The owners, management and all employees of this establishment will not be held accountable for any moral, social or legal issues resulting from said consumption.  In other words:  GET DRUNK & FALL DOWN---DON'T BLAME US!!!

Spring is on it's way.  Enjoy!!!  In moderation!!!  ROTFLMAO!!!

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