Let me preface this by saying that I honestly don't know how I manage to get myself into situations like this. No, wait, I actually DO know how I manage it. It's usually eyes wide open and both feet straight into the deep end. Today was certainly no different but at least this time it was truly entertaining.
I was out running errands and found myself in the middle of a serious sugar craving so I decided to swing by my favorite Mexican pastelaria/deli for a big bag of cookies and torta to take home for Sea Squirt and I to split for lunch. BTW, a torta is a Mexican sandwich and at El Bolillo they are literally about the size of a football. I walk in the front door and Senora Rosalinda throws her arms open and greets me with "Senor Cookie Monster!!! Buenosdias!!!". She's been calling me that since December because she knows I am totally hooked on her cookies. I love her!!! Then Senor Alberto pops his head out from behind a cabinet and yells "Hola, Senor Cookie Monster!". I tell Senora that I need some cookies and a chicken torta to go. She yells back to Alberto "Torta con pollo!!! Rapido!!! Rapido!!!". Then I start hand selecting which cookies I want (it's good to be a Most Valued Customer at this place!!!), grab a Mexican Coca-Cola and start watching an episode of the Mexican version of "Ugly Betty" on the TV while I wait for my torta. All seemed right with the world. I should have seen it coming...
Within seconds she appeared from out of nowhere. And decided to befriend me. At close range. As in the chair next to me. She was no more than a meter and half in height, as wrinkled as a raison and at least 400 years old. I think she used to date Cortez. To be fair, I had seen her wondering around back in the kitchen on several earlier visits so I knew she was family somehow so I wasn't particularily frightened of her. Just to be sociable I looked at her and asked "Senora, como de nombre?" to which she replied "de nada". ??????? Now I know that my Spanish can be a bit sparce at times but I DO know that "de nada" means "you're welcome". She them picked up the paper that was lying on the table and began to read it aloud. In Spanish. Unfortunately for her, the Wisconsin State Journal is published in English. Which I would quickly discover she knew not a single word of. Then I notice Senora Rosalinda behind the counter, pointing at my table mate with one hand and making little circles around the side of her head with the index finger of her other hand. I took that mean that she was from Senor Alberto's side of the family and NOT hers. Senora Rosalinda began to come out from behind the corner in an attempt to rescue me but I stopped her by saying "Senora, es no problema." She shrugged her shoulders and happily left me to my own devices with De Nada.
Since I had some time to kill and nothing better to do I just decided to dive right in. I struck up a conversation with De Nada, using every Spanish phrase and question I could readily remember. She was very pleased that I had a red pencil box. No, she had not seen my brown valise. No, she did not know where the library was but the post office was apparently out in the parking lot somewhere. And yes, she did indeed have the shirt in both a different size AND color. I also discovered that she is as big a fan of the peanut butter cookies as I am. Oh, yeah, I had a live one on my hands here!!! A corazon de oro but a definite arterial flow problem above the shoulders. Sort of like Bernice Clifton.
Then Senor Alberto came out of the kitchen, where he had been watching what was going on, with the rest of my order. He had a big smile on his face. And then he thanked me for being so kind to his abuelita Yolanda. GRANDMA Yolanda??? My god, she really is 400 years old, I thought to myself. As I gathered up my order and got up to leave, I looked at her and said "Adios, Yolanda" and she replied "Adios, amigo". Senor Alberto's jaw dropped. He told me that since abuelito got "sick" she has become very shy and rarely speaks and that in 5 minutes I had gotten her to say more than she has in the last couple of months. WOW!!! I just love it when the fates toss me a curve ball and I can still manage to hit that puppy out of the ballpark. I'm sure Yolanda had completely forgotten me before I had even made it to my car, but still, I giggled all of the way home.
I don't know how these folks manage to find me, but I just love it when they do. It feeds my soul. And makes me hope the mop and bucket brigade behind me is just as kind...
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