Colors. Oh yeah, I love those things. Especially the ones I can actually see. OK, I admit it, I'm color blind. BIG time! But back in the mid 1960's I saw some amazing colors. I knew what to take to "enhance" the experience back then...
Today, I still see colors. Just not the same ones the rest of you do. Color blindness... I'm still not sure if it's a curse or a gift. I flunk every test for that they give me. I must have the weirdest rods and cones in my eyes imaginable. I can't see any of those numbers to save my life. My color deficiencies spread across just about all the diagnosed ranges known to medical science. No, I do not see in black and white. I see colors. Just different ones than you do. Mine are much more fun. And confusing at times.
To me, a pumpkin, a tomato and a red delicious apple look pretty much the same color. To me, my car is the same color as a pumpkin. Yes, I know it is "Flame Red" but then again, I think jack-o-lanterns are the same color. Yeah, this is why I dress sort of strangely. Limes and avocados are the same color to me. Until the limes start to rot, then I notice a difference. In the fall, I see color changes weeks before you do. Especially if I am driving around in polarized sunglasses. I see yellows that you can't. I see the sumac go red a month before you do. And what I see in the maples would amaze you. I see the birch go yellow long before you can and it just freaking "pops" to me. Ask anyone who has driven around with me in September... It's kind of like my own private version of "I see dead people"...
On my first in person encounter with Sea Squirt (remember, we "met" on Match.com, I told him to meet me at my favorite Mexican restaurant and look for the guy wearing the loudest Hawaiian shirt imaginable) he found me immediately. Two days later, he was over at my apartment, shocked at the, well, shall we say, garishness of the colors. He bravely asked what my favorite color was and I told him I didn't have "A" favorite color. I had lots of them. Then I told him to go look in my closet. He did. And then he fainted. Six feet of polo's and second hand Hawaiian shirts in colors not found in nature was just too much for him to comprehend. Once I had finally revived him I confessed. Yes, I was color blind. And my favorite colors were actually things like limon, lemon, hibiscus, bougainvillea, mango, papaya, guava, liver (YES, liver. But only if it's raw), palm frond , fall and aubergine. Especially aubergine. OMG, what a color!!! A couple of weeks later and he was with me down in Mexico and he understood what I was talking about. I showed him all of them. Especially aubergine. Up here it's eggplant, in the tropics it takes on a whole different thing. Down there it is the most brilliant pallet of shades imaginable. My heart races, my sinus's break and I pee on my flip flops!!! Trust me, this color in it's myriad of delicasies just stops me in my tracks. Usually in the middle of an intersection... Which is usually not a good thing... I was once almost run over by a bus full of Japanese touristas while standing in the middle of Calle Olas Altas and admiring the color of someones front door. What can I say? It popped and I stopped.
As a photographer color blindness has saved me a small fortune on film over the years. I didn't use Kodak, which is heavy on reds and yellows. I used Fuji, which is heavy on blues and greens. The difference between those to films to me is amazing. Kodak looked sort of "blurred" to me while Fuji was razor sharp and damned near glowed in my eyes.
Wanna have more fun with me than a monkey house full of barrels? Give me a dryer load of argyle socks and ask me to match them. Call me in about a year. I may have matched a pair or two by then. STOP LAUGHING YOU BITCHES!!! That would be cruel and unusual and I would be forced to report you to The Hague for crimes against insanity!!!
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