Oh, my stars...
OK, Sea Squirt and I were just a little bit lit tonight. I'm taking all of the plastic crap out of the dishwasher and putting it into the sink to dry. For some unknown reason I decide to threaten him with wet Tupperware. OK, actually it was Faber Ware. Get over it. Next thing you know I get wonked across the side of my head with some of this stuff. Guess what? It shattered. Big time. Next thing you know I'm standing in the kitchen with a freezie pack on my forehead and up to my ankles in broken plastic.
I do not blame him. I am the one who started it. But I have a welt on my forehead the size of a walnut. It's actually big enough that I can balance the freezie pack there while standing upright. A part of me was laughing my ass off and the other hand was just angry as fucking hell. Such is life... Hell, I deserved it. And I wear that badge proudly. I just wish that it didn't hurt so fucking much... All this being said, he did not do it viciously or violently. But goddess knows, if he had any sense he should have... For the one's of you out there who know me, well, you know what I'm talking about...
How do I get myself into these situations? Well, could have something to do with me being me. I am an explosive little shit. Duck and cover. Trust me, I'm not a normal woman...
For almost 10 years Sea Squirt has put up with me. Who the hell knows why but I am damned glad that he has. I just can't figure out why though. I'll ask no questions...
Walnut be damned, Sea Squirt is a warm body in the middle of the night. And I hope that I am the same to him.
Here's to walnuts...
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Monday, May 12, 2014
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND...
Would do something this ass backwards??? Ten feet of underwater dynamite fuse. Even at the age I am now I wouldn't let me have access to that shit. Yet, at the age of 14 I was able to buy it. In cash. goddess, the 1960's were such a simpler time...
OK, let's just cut to the chase here. Me. A large pan on the stove. Some salt peter and sugar. A bit of duct tape. And an empty compressed air cartridge. And a very devious mind. Very, very devious mind...
So, I took out a garage, a 1966 Chevrolet Biscaine, most of the side porch and a lot of windows for about two blocks around. Thankfully it wasn't my house. Just a couple of doors down though... Oh, goddess, the fireball was amazing!!! Needless to say I high tailed it to the cemetery and hid behind a large grave stone. What I did had to do with youth and stupidity but today would put me in prison for life plus 99, To this day, I sit on my ass in the kitchen and laugh my ass off.
I was not an easy child by any stretch of the imagination and as an adult I am even worse.
I would have it no other way...
OK, let's just cut to the chase here. Me. A large pan on the stove. Some salt peter and sugar. A bit of duct tape. And an empty compressed air cartridge. And a very devious mind. Very, very devious mind...
So, I took out a garage, a 1966 Chevrolet Biscaine, most of the side porch and a lot of windows for about two blocks around. Thankfully it wasn't my house. Just a couple of doors down though... Oh, goddess, the fireball was amazing!!! Needless to say I high tailed it to the cemetery and hid behind a large grave stone. What I did had to do with youth and stupidity but today would put me in prison for life plus 99, To this day, I sit on my ass in the kitchen and laugh my ass off.
I was not an easy child by any stretch of the imagination and as an adult I am even worse.
I would have it no other way...
Sunday, May 11, 2014
OH, HAPPY DAYS!!!
Oh my...
Last night was way too much fun. Three good friends in a tiny kitchen with shitty lighting. Knives twirling. Cutting boards flying. Way too much hot oil. And damned near every burner going. Who could bitch about that???
Yeah, last night was the paella feast. It started going awry as I began to load up the car. I had way too much shit for this. WAY too much shit. I quickly grabbed the other two paella pans and fired up the Dodge.
About 3 hours later we are setting down to about 30 pounds of Pealla Valinciana. It could have used about twice as much rice but with all of the other stuff we tossed in there, who really gives a rats ass??? Brandy (this is is 'sconsin after all) flowed like a river, shots of tequila came out of nowhere and we stopped just short of smoking our shoes. We gorged like condemned death row inmates.
I love being in a kitchen with people who know what they are doing. Of course, I love being in a kitchen with recent head injuries that don't have a clue. Those are the ones that you put in charge of dicing the onions. goddess, thank you for kitchens!!!
All of our freezers are stocked full of pealla. WAY stocked!!! The three of us are a bit (a bit???) adventurous and have decided to make this a reoccurring event. As long as every time it's a different country. We actually broke out a globe to find some interesting countries to eat out of. For the life of me, I can't remember which one that we decided on. I do remember it being kind of obscure though. I'll ask later... Let's just say that we ruled out England immediately. My suggestion of Scotland and haggis was shot down damned near in a heart beat. I said it includes a bottle of Scotch and they still said "no". Wussies... I think that we decided on something that involved a large bbq grill which to me means nothing more than open flames. I love that! I'm there for ya' baby!!!
In about a month there will be flames, smoke, hot oil, fire extinguishers, a 911 call and some band-aids. If not a large bath towel wrapped around what should have been left of someones hand. I LOVE IT!!!
Here is to food, friends and way, way, way too many shots!!! Yeah, it just don't get any better...
Last night was way too much fun. Three good friends in a tiny kitchen with shitty lighting. Knives twirling. Cutting boards flying. Way too much hot oil. And damned near every burner going. Who could bitch about that???
Yeah, last night was the paella feast. It started going awry as I began to load up the car. I had way too much shit for this. WAY too much shit. I quickly grabbed the other two paella pans and fired up the Dodge.
About 3 hours later we are setting down to about 30 pounds of Pealla Valinciana. It could have used about twice as much rice but with all of the other stuff we tossed in there, who really gives a rats ass??? Brandy (this is is 'sconsin after all) flowed like a river, shots of tequila came out of nowhere and we stopped just short of smoking our shoes. We gorged like condemned death row inmates.
I love being in a kitchen with people who know what they are doing. Of course, I love being in a kitchen with recent head injuries that don't have a clue. Those are the ones that you put in charge of dicing the onions. goddess, thank you for kitchens!!!
All of our freezers are stocked full of pealla. WAY stocked!!! The three of us are a bit (a bit???) adventurous and have decided to make this a reoccurring event. As long as every time it's a different country. We actually broke out a globe to find some interesting countries to eat out of. For the life of me, I can't remember which one that we decided on. I do remember it being kind of obscure though. I'll ask later... Let's just say that we ruled out England immediately. My suggestion of Scotland and haggis was shot down damned near in a heart beat. I said it includes a bottle of Scotch and they still said "no". Wussies... I think that we decided on something that involved a large bbq grill which to me means nothing more than open flames. I love that! I'm there for ya' baby!!!
In about a month there will be flames, smoke, hot oil, fire extinguishers, a 911 call and some band-aids. If not a large bath towel wrapped around what should have been left of someones hand. I LOVE IT!!!
Here is to food, friends and way, way, way too many shots!!! Yeah, it just don't get any better...
Monday, May 5, 2014
AAH... PAELLA!!!
I am in heaven! This coming Saturday Sea Squirt, two of our dear friends and I are going to crowd up in a kitchen and make paella. Just the mention of that word makes my heart race. Knives will be flailing. Stuff will be searing. Yes, indeed, we will be slicing, dicing, smushing and gushing!
Paella and I go back a LONG time. Over the summer of 1971, after I graduated from high school I back packed and hosteled my way across Europe. When I found myself in Spain I discovered paella. Oh, goddess, what a dish! Every place I landed in had a different version of it. Freaking heaven!!! It's normally a sea food thing. Fish, mussels, clams, shrimp. You name it, it could go in there. If you do it right you toss a whole lobster on the top of it. But if you go 30 miles away it could be made with chicken and pork. Let's just say that about the only thing you don't put in in paella is beef. Rabbit, yes. Beef, no.
I actually have 3 different paella pans. Yeah, it needs its own sort of pan. Mine are small compared to what I saw being used in Spain. My largest one is about 20 inches across. I saw ones in Spain with a footprint bigger than my car. Hey, if you're gonna make paella, do it right. You do not stir paella as much as you rake and shovel it. There is no such thing as "a" paella recipe. There are as many paella recipes as there are grandmothers. It's kind of like "a" chili recipe if you know what I mean...
This weekend I will be doing a chicken, chorizo, three bean, saffron rice, lime, lemon, artichoke heart and black olive concoction that I find especially appealing. And it is something that Sea Squirt can actually eat. He has that shellfish allergy thing that just makes him explode like a puffer fish. goddess, that must just suck! Personally, I have been known to eat about 3 pounds of shrimp, oysters, clams and mussels in a single setting and wash it all down with a pitcher of beer. Yeah, I'm pretty much a pig...
A kitchen, good friends, way too many sharp knives, boiling oil and the prerequisite bottle of tequila. Someone is gonna get cut, burnt or scalded. I just know it. Luckily, another good friend of ours is a 911 operator. We've given her a heads up. We have her on speed dial...
Here's to Saturday! Yes, a song in my heart, a tap dance on my toes and smile on my face... What can I say, life just don't get no better than that!!!
Paella and I go back a LONG time. Over the summer of 1971, after I graduated from high school I back packed and hosteled my way across Europe. When I found myself in Spain I discovered paella. Oh, goddess, what a dish! Every place I landed in had a different version of it. Freaking heaven!!! It's normally a sea food thing. Fish, mussels, clams, shrimp. You name it, it could go in there. If you do it right you toss a whole lobster on the top of it. But if you go 30 miles away it could be made with chicken and pork. Let's just say that about the only thing you don't put in in paella is beef. Rabbit, yes. Beef, no.
I actually have 3 different paella pans. Yeah, it needs its own sort of pan. Mine are small compared to what I saw being used in Spain. My largest one is about 20 inches across. I saw ones in Spain with a footprint bigger than my car. Hey, if you're gonna make paella, do it right. You do not stir paella as much as you rake and shovel it. There is no such thing as "a" paella recipe. There are as many paella recipes as there are grandmothers. It's kind of like "a" chili recipe if you know what I mean...
This weekend I will be doing a chicken, chorizo, three bean, saffron rice, lime, lemon, artichoke heart and black olive concoction that I find especially appealing. And it is something that Sea Squirt can actually eat. He has that shellfish allergy thing that just makes him explode like a puffer fish. goddess, that must just suck! Personally, I have been known to eat about 3 pounds of shrimp, oysters, clams and mussels in a single setting and wash it all down with a pitcher of beer. Yeah, I'm pretty much a pig...
A kitchen, good friends, way too many sharp knives, boiling oil and the prerequisite bottle of tequila. Someone is gonna get cut, burnt or scalded. I just know it. Luckily, another good friend of ours is a 911 operator. We've given her a heads up. We have her on speed dial...
Here's to Saturday! Yes, a song in my heart, a tap dance on my toes and smile on my face... What can I say, life just don't get no better than that!!!
Friday, May 2, 2014
OK, I'M CRAZY...
Full blown bat shit crazy and nowhere near holding down a productive job. I love that. I used to be corporate. Corner office. Three piece suits. A secretary. goddess, I am so embarrassed. Yes, at one point in my life I used to be reasonable. Oh, just stop laughing. I can hear you!!!
Yeah, I was once a "suit". Again, stop laughing!!! Back in the day, I had me a time. But now I am having me a good time. A MUCH better time, trust me...
I have a crazy lady living upstairs from me. She is from Puerto Rico. I love her dearly. She keeps referring to me as a Mexican. Yeah, she's been in my apartment. She knows what it looks like. For those of you out there who have been here, you know what it looks like... It's a bull fight, a sun set and way too much tequila. Hey, can life get any better??? She has taught me how to finally make rice the right way and I have taught her how to make peanut butter cookies my way. Life is so freaking good.
We are constantly knocking on each others doors and sharing something fresh out of the oven. I love that. Between cookies, rice and brownies our hearts are going to stop but I can't think of a better way to go out of the door... Hell she does things with chicken that are mind blowing. I will set down at her table in a heartbeat. Well, at least what is left of them...
Here's to you dear woman!
Yeah, I was once a "suit". Again, stop laughing!!! Back in the day, I had me a time. But now I am having me a good time. A MUCH better time, trust me...
I have a crazy lady living upstairs from me. She is from Puerto Rico. I love her dearly. She keeps referring to me as a Mexican. Yeah, she's been in my apartment. She knows what it looks like. For those of you out there who have been here, you know what it looks like... It's a bull fight, a sun set and way too much tequila. Hey, can life get any better??? She has taught me how to finally make rice the right way and I have taught her how to make peanut butter cookies my way. Life is so freaking good.
We are constantly knocking on each others doors and sharing something fresh out of the oven. I love that. Between cookies, rice and brownies our hearts are going to stop but I can't think of a better way to go out of the door... Hell she does things with chicken that are mind blowing. I will set down at her table in a heartbeat. Well, at least what is left of them...
Here's to you dear woman!
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