Y'know, sometimes people just got to get down, get funky and get loose. I can appreciate that. Been there. Done that. Still got the whip... marks...
C'mon, you've all seen what's hanging in my closet. "Hey, Donn, why do you have all of these police uniforms?" "Uh, Donn, what's up with all of the SWAT uniforms?" "So, Donn, just how many pair of jackboots do you actually own???" "Donn, what the hell is this THING???" "Donn, honey, you have enough leather in this closet to build a cow." What can I say, I've always leaned towards the road not taken...
Sex can be dirty. But only if you do it right. I'm a firm believer in that. Ya gotta be inventive. O, come on, sex is pretty generic until you put your dark side behind it.
I am a collector of porn. Love the stuff!!! In the last couple of years a whole new niche genre of "fetish" porn has popped up on my screen. Much to my delight. You like feet? We'll give you feet. You like bald? We'll give you bald. You like boots? What kind? We got em all. Uniforms? Just let us know what kind. Construction workers? Road or building? Belts? Where and how? Socks? Athletic or dress? Dress shoes? Lace up or loafer? Suits? Two or three piece? 5 o'clock shadow? Where? OMg!!! It's an incredible ala carte menu of satisfaction out there. You name it, you got it. Streaming. Oh, lord, I think I need a cigarette...
But I have questions. I studied film in college. I know what continuity is. It's kind of important. How the hell did you get your pants off but you still have your boots on? How did you get completely naked without removing your tool belt? How did you get completely out of that uniform without removing your belt holster? When did you change from knee high jack boots to lace up construction boots? And who the hell was the set decorator that decided to hang a clock on the wall in the background with no battery in it??? THAT one pisses me off!!! No one has sex for 45 minutes from 12:05 to 12:05!!!
Anyway... the minutia of all of our secret fetishes and twisted romps is out there. On demand. Downloadable. (Flash drives. I LOVE them!!!) Viewable in the dark. Privately. Wink wink... And all just a couple of key clicks away. I have a rather extensive list of file share sites that I frequent for my fetish fix. I am surprised that most of their search engines have not jumped out of the window thanks to me. I put them to task. I search for really weird stuff. I once typed in "worker boots hairy doorbell daddy". Oh, my. 227 freaking pages of stuff popped up. All porn. Lord, I SO need some more flash drives!!!
I have been dressed up strangely since the day I was born. My second pair of shoes was a pair of cowboy boots. I was 7 months old. A fetish can start so innocently... And then blossom into 6 decades of strangeness. I was born into a world of METAL rotary dial phones with party lines. 5 digit phone numbers for chris'sakes!!! Metal ice cube trays with handles. Coal fired home furnaces. Linoleum. Yeah, look that one up...
Now, I am happily at my computer at 3 AM, while Seasquirt happily snores away, getting a fetish-fix. Door bells. Oh, lord, I love those things...
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