WHEN THE BLOODY HELL DID I GET DIMPLES???

So, I'm looking in the mirror the other day.  Actually, I was shaving.  Not an easy task for a man my age.  You have to start moving parts of what's left of your face around.  By hand.  Literally.  It's not pretty.  Hell, a week ago I was "attempting" to shave my neck and damned near severed my head.  No shit.  I bled like a stuck pig.  I just stood over the sink and drained for about 45 minutes.  Seasquirt came home from work to find me with a bloody towel about my head looking way too much like something out of "Le Mis".  Enough said...

Anyway.  I was shaving.  Actually, I was done shaving.  I was trimming my mustache.  For those of you not in the know, the mustache is sort of, well...  large now.  And the goatee is back as well.  They are both completely gray.  I want to die.  If any of you happen to see a sale on wooden boat oars with the bronze edges, let me know.  I'll drive.  Just use them on me.  Trust me, it's a family tradition...

Again, back to the dimples.  So, as I trim off all of the stranglers on my mustache and even off the bottom of the thing I decide to start giving myself a few expressions in the mirror just to see how the mustache "moves".  Suddenly, I see dimples staring back at me.  Dimples.  Yes, dimples.   I have never had dimples in my life.  Why is Sam Elliott staring back at me in my bathroom mirror???  Dimples.  Dimples???  Their they were.  Big as life.  I freaked out.  Dimples???  Where the hell did these things come from???  Yeah, they're cute when you're in high school but on a man on the downhill part of the water slide to 60 they're sort of a shock.  Especially when they're on YOUR face.  DIMPLES???  Seasquirt happily told me "Honey, you're old.  Those aren't dimples, they're wrinkles.  Truth be told, your face is starting to look like a morel."  I beat him savagely about the head and shoulders with what was left of his shoulder once I had chewed his arm off...

They're dimples.  And oddly, I have three of them.  Two on the left side and one on the right side.  Which, in an odd way sort of counter balances the discrepancy of me having two nipples on my right side and one of my left.  (Patty, Maxine and Laverne.)   I am now centered.  OMG!!!  I can start to play the violin again!!!