Aah, yes. Tits. Oh, wonderful tits!!! Yes, tits. TITS!!!
Boobs. Nay-nays. Jugs. Funbags. Hell, call them what you will... Grab them! Slap them! Juggle them like tennis balls! Toss them around! Swing them,.. Bounce them... Get them going in opposite directions! Hell, shake them like they owe you money!!!
Yes, tits. I have three of them. OK, so my third one is sort of hidden under my right on. But it's there. Yes, I have three of them. I am old and I have three tits. Boobies!!!
Oh lord, I am an old man with three nipples... I have named them. Patty, Maxine and Laverne, to be exact. Laverne is the "hidden" one. She's not shy, she's just sort of hidden under Maxine. At least while I am vertical. When I am horizontal she sort of peaks her head out. If I roll to one side. Just right. At least on one side...
Tits. hmmmm.... tits. Actually, I like to spell that with a "z". As in titz.... "Tits" is plural. "Titz" is more than two. I have three... Tits. Oh, wonderful tits. TITS!!!
Yes, I have three nipples. OK, I have two nipples. And a "nubbins" as I like to call it. Her. Laverne, don't y'know... On the surface, I appear normal. (OK, just stop laughing!!! I can hear you!!!) But beneath my polo shirt I outnumber you by 50 percent!!! Hell, with the right hormones I could effectively dock conjoined triplets if the need should arise. Yeah, can't you just imagine me breast feeding anything??? Sort of makes "The Exorcist" look warm and fuzzy, doesn't it???
Tits. Titz. I guess it doesn't matter how you spell it. Them? Tits... Fun bags... Jugs...
Why the hell do men have nipples??? OK, I know why gay men have nipples but why do straight men have nipples??? Hell, they don't even know they have an asshole!!! Trust me on this one, touch a straight mans sphincter and it slams shut like the gates at Fort Knox. Touch a gay mans sphincter and you've got the keys to the kingdom. And a couple of free cocktails... And a couple of hours of a good time...
Nipples. Hmmmm.... nipples. I've managed to learn how to do some stuff with nipples in the last 6 decades. I will not go into detail. But, trust me, I know how to make those little puppies happy. Be they mine, yours or theirs. I think I need a third hand... Laverne is starting to feel left out, if you know what I mean.
Shoulders back, head high and Laverne snoozing comfortably under my right one I cruise through life.. Brazenly proud of my extra 50 percent. Awash in my extra tittie I march down State Street. with a smile on my face. And an extra tit in my shirt. Bow to me you bitches!!! I have 50 percent more mammalia than any of your girlfriends ever had!!! Yeah, I could have been really fun on Prom night!!! I could have made that backseat rock!!! Oh, wait.... I did.
Tits are power. Just ask any woman with good ones. In ten minutes she can OWN you!!! And you will let her do it willingly. What is it with you straight guys and tits??? OK, I'm gay and I do appreciate a good set of tits. But not for the same reasons. Show me a nice set of knockers and I can say "Hey, nice tits!". Yeah, you try that and see what happens. Women show gay men their tits at the drop of a hat. I've seen more tits than I know what to do with. Hell, I've seen your wife's tits!!! A couple of times. Don't even get me started on how many lesbian tits I've seen... "So, are my tits even?" Well, yeah, I guess so. Isn't 2 an even number??? Don't forget, I have 3. I feel ashamed. But grateful. THREE!!! I am a weird orgy just waiting to happen....
Titties. Lord, I love that word. Titties. Titties. Titties. There, I've said it again... and again.
Why do women feel compelled to show their tits to gay guys??? Yes, their nice. Now, put them away. I'm eating. OMg, boobs, What can I say, I'm gay. Really gay. BIG TIME GAY!!! Put your boobies away!!!
I am a man with three tits. Irag. Iran. I roll. Yes, three tits. Lick me if you dare...
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