Oh, lord... I can't believe that I am actually about to turn 58. 58... I'm a baby boomer, I was told I would be young forever. I'm the Pepsi Generation for god's sake.
Yes, my body is a bit tattered from all of my fun (abuse???) but my spirit is still chugging along. Through it all I have to say I have had one hell of a good ride. I have been more places and seen more things than most people can regocnize or pronounce. I am now on my fourth passport, two of which had to be send back to add more pages for Visa stamps. I have been around the world twice, once in each direction. I have crossed the equator twice and the International Date Line four times. I have actually touched the Elgin Marbles. I have stood on the Great Wall of China and seen the terra cotta soldiers in Xian. I have stood in awe as I sailed down a river in China surrounded by the indescribable beauty that is Quilin. I have flown over, stood in or peed in most of the worlds major oceans and seas. The pyramids, the Mona Lisa, the statue of David, the Prada, Hong Kong, the Demilitarized Zone in Korea, the Sydney Opera House, the Panama Canal, the old city of Cartagena and some alley's in Beijing still ring strong in my memories. And my photo albums. I have cuddled wombats and come into WAY too close of contact with emu's. (Trust me. Google emu. NOT PRETTY!!!") I once got so drunk in Germany one afternoon that I actually woke up in Poland the next morning. Don't ask me why, I haven't a clue. Thank you EuroRail Pass. I have eaten haggis and enjoyed it, thanks to all of the whiskey. While in Fiji I got so buzzed off of Kava I actually considered fire-walking. I pissed off France (easily done, I might add...). I damned near drowned in fountain in a small village in Spain after too much sangria. I have puked and peed in more public fountains than I can ever hope to remember. C'mon you all know me...
58. 50-fucking-8!!! Oh, my...
In my mind I am still a puppy. In my mirror I am my grandfather. Or my great-grandmother. I am a morel. And a dehydrated one at that. Just like she was. Emma, start digging a ditch, I'm on my way...
Yes, I know that 58 is the new 55 but this just sucks rocks.
I used to joke that I was going to live to be 112 just to piss people off. I have crunched the numbers. That would be another 54 freaking years. HFN!!! That would make me a combination of parchment, mummy dust, catheters and mildew... I don't thin' so, Lucy!!!
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