I am a firm believer in this. Trust me. The older you get the more shit you can get away with. Pretty much because they just don't want to fuck with you and you're starting to smell funny. Hey, if you're gonna make an ass out of yourself then just do it proud. Jayne Mansfield had a quote that I embrace and hold dear to my heart to this day.. "Hey, if you're gonna make a mistake, make it a big one. You're gonna get blamed the same either way". How can you not love that??? It has become my credo. Yes, indeed, I am a train wreck. Hell, I'd have it no other way. I have been known to address highrise buildings in the 3rd person and moon a city bus or two. You don't believe me? Just ask the guy in Michigan. Goddess, he has some dirt on me... He's got so much dirt on me it hurts!!! Again, I would have it no other way...
I live in Madison, 'sconsin and we are a bit looney here. Well, basically either under or over medicated at any given moment. We don't care either way. Either way can be the roller coaster ride of your life. Yeah, just a bunch of loonies. I have been blessed.
This is Madison. We're so not normal. Today I decided to just cut loose and go completely feral. Oh, please, I'm only 3 days from turning 61. I can pretty much do what the fuck I want. This city has some of the most amazing green spaces, parks and arboretums imaginable. Truly world class. One of the best is Olbrich Gardens. A true stunner.
For the last 8 years a bunch of crazies has been hosting a party there every July called "Escape Adulthood". Once again, right into the shallow end of the gene pool. Yep, I did a cannonball. It was a seminar and I really do use that in weakest terms imaginable. Oh. c'mon, how can you not love that??? We got to write our own name tags. BIG mistake!!! Well, of course, I was Betty Grable. A Lego licker, an expert napper and a Cap'n Crunch fan.. Yeah, I had to print REALLY small. Little did they know I had a surprise up my panty hose. Yes, my fellow cohort, Dr. Benson Honeydew and myself revealed a "Device To Save The World". OK, it was really nothing more than 7 cardboard boxes tuct taped together in a rather odd way. Of course, all the while I am giving my discourse ( I honestly don't even know what that means...) I am wearing a McDonald's kids meal box on my head with a Tickle Me Elmo in my pants that kept vibrating. I have to admit, that part of it was pretty fun...
As I plummet into my "Golden Years" (BTW, who came up with that bullshit???) I'm not going to do it quietly. Oh, hell, kicking and screaming is SO much my style. Trust me, get the rhino darts ready. I would suggest you have at least a dozen on hand. Trust me, I ain't going down easy...
Sing like nobody is listening. Dance like nobody is watching . And then run naked in the front yard through the sprinkler. Scare the shit of your neighbors. Hell, that's what they're there for!!!
Never, EVER stop being silly!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment