I'm a Southern Boy by birth. Yep, I come from long line of Gomer's, Goober's, Digger's and Nub's. And those are just my aunts! And if there is one thing I remember about spending summers down at grandma and grandpa's, it was grease. And lots of it, too!
My grandma's kitchen was the equivalent of a culinary gas chamber. Not only did she have a massive wood fired stove but she was up to her blue hair in grease. Bacon grease to be precise. With lard a close second. I can't remember her cooking less than two pounds of bacon at a time. Ever. Then she'd strain the grease into an old coffee can and put it in the "icebox". Yeah, she called the refrigerator an icebox. What bacon was not eaten for breakfast was placed on a small plate, over a paper napkin and snacked on over the rest of the day. If there happened to be any left by dinner it was either worked into what she was cooking or crumbled up over the grits, gravy or fresh biscuits that she served on the side. How none of us died of food borne illness is still a wonder to me....
Grandma used bacon grease and lard in EVERYTHING! Breakfast, lunch, dinner, pie crusts and probably even cup cakes. I wouldn't be surprised if she managed to find a way to work it into my grape Kool Aid. Or even my Fizzy's. (BTW, if you are old enough to remember Fizzy's I feel sorry for you. Think "fruit" flavored Alka-Selztor and you get the idea. Who the bloody hell thought that was a treat for children?). Grandma had so much bacon grease she actually traded it to the next door neighbor lady, Ruth, for rides down to the post office, which by the way, was all of a block away. Apparently Ruth didn't cook bacon but just had a need for the grease. I won't take that exit...
Yes, this is my heritage. Grease. Lard. And fat. Again, lots of it. To this day I honor my past. And with high regard too. If it's deep fried I'm there! If it's breaded AND deep fried then I'm the one in front of you in line. If it calls for at least a dozen eggs in the breading and deep frying then I'm butting in front of you in line. If homemade gravy is even hinted at then I'll stab your sorry ass to be first in line. Perhaps this is why all of my aunts and uncles weighed way too much and developed Type-2 diabetes at an unusually early age. Round about twelve as I've been told. My aunt Dorothy was so "jello-y" she could only fit through most doorways sideways. But only with the help of some bacon grease to ease the egress. We found her lodged in a doorway, dead, at the age of 52 with a white bread, bacon, lard and sugar sandwich at her foot. Yeah, only one foot left. Type-2 diabetes can be so cruel....
Mayonnaise, butter, whole milk, extra large eggs, bacon grease, lard, deep fried everything and homemade gravy are all like mother's milk to me. My cholesterol? 148. My blood pressure? 75 over 110 on a high stress day. My weight? 160. Bite me, aunt Dorothy! No, "weight", you can't. Your dead....
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