Fasten Your Seat Belts, It's Gonna Be A Bumpy Blog!!!

kim jung il.  There, I have said it.  kim jung il.   What an AMAZINGLY mind numbing turd!!!   Of all of the demigods I have been forced to endure  during my almost 6 decades this guy take the tres leche.  His father was like Stalin-lite, he himself is nuttier than a Pay-Day candy bar and his second son (soon to be the next "Fearless Leader and Friend To All") is the biggest wild card I have ever seen.

Oh god, where to start on this one...  I have been to South Korea.  It's a lovely country.  A bit ethnocentric but a lovely country, nonetheless.  I highly recommend the bulgogi!!!  I have been to North Korea.  Sort of.  I booked a tour into the Demilitarized Zone.  SCAREY!!!  I was allowed to walk around the table where the cease-fire was signed.  That got me officially into North Korea for about all of 15 seconds because the "official" international border runs through the center of the table.  Amazingly, no border checks were involved but scowling from the North Korean Guards was mandatory.  They are not a happy group of campers.  On the way back to the bus a person behind me asked what the red dot on my back was.  I turned around and saw that it was now on my front.  In about the same location as my heart.  I shit!!!  I had a sniper from several miles away in the north tracking me with a laser guided assault rifle scope.  I grabbed the oldest lady around me, held her up in front of me and quickly backed my way onto the tour bus.  How paranoid are these people???

"Uncle Kim", as I call him, is a total loon.  He has what is estimated to be the largest private wine collection in the world, the largest private fleet of Mercedes S-class sedans in the world, dozens of homes, has his "uniforms" custom tailored in Paris, flies in dentists from Germany, carries multiple American Express Platinum cards (WTF???),  owns more shoes than Emelda Marcos did, had his children educated in private schools in Switzerland under assumed names, has more food tasters than Heinz has varieties and is known to like to blow things up.  Especially nuclear weapons.  If I lived in Seoul I would so be packing my bags right about now!!!  And all of this while his beloved citizens are eating grass to keep from starving to death!!!

A couple of year ago he sent a diplomatic mission of envoys to Paris.  The three of them went on a week long spending spree totaling a bit over 3 MILLION dollars!!!  Clothes, food, electronics, wine, cars, liquor and other assorted goodies.  All for "Uncle Kim".  And all on AX Platinum Cards!!!  WTF!!!  You eat imported caviar and your citizens are free-ranging in the park???

Then there is that building...  It's called the Ryungong Hotel.  It's not only ugly it's yet to be completed.  It started going up in 1985 and started crumbling almost immediately.  Construction has commenced and been halted numerous times.  It has appeared on North Korean currency and stamps.  And disappeared just as quickly.  Repeatedly.  Cheap concrete and not an inch of rebare anywhere.  It's not just ugly, it's FUGLY!!!  It's gone from icon to eyesore more times than Madonna...  This was his idea of a tourist and investment attraction.  One small problem:  no such thing as a tourist visa in North Korea.  Hmmmm...

His eldest son.  He was recently busted big time trying to sneak into Japan using a fake French passport so he could go to Disneyland Tokyo.  Really???  Dude, you do NOT look French by any stretch!!!   What part of arriving on a private Air Koryo private charter jet with a diplomatic passport were you missing???

OK, jump to the present.  Just this week a shipment of 22 THOUSAND Italian made tap shoes was stopped as the cargo plane was pulling way from the terminal on a heading to Pyongyang.  22 THOUSAND TAP SHOES???  22 THOUSAND TAP SHOES!!!   Uncle Kim, just how big of a honorarial procession were you planning for yourself???  11 thousand tap dancers???  That's Buzby Berkeley on the brown acid.  With a dance crew fed on grass!!!  Dude, wake up and smell the oxymoron!!!