Wednesday, June 29, 2011

OMG, I Think I Might Be Pregnant!!!

This morning I woke up about an hour earlier than anyone in their right mind should and started rummaging through the kitchen.  First, the refrigerator.  Then the pantry.  And once again, back to the refrigerator.  All to no avail.  I had a craving for something.  Big time.  As my first schooner of coffee began to kick in it finally hit me.  I wanted bulgogi.  Yes, bulgogi.  And I wanted it NOW!!!  And lots of it too!!!  FYI, bulgogi is not normally eaten for breakfast.  Yes, it can be but you'd better be REALLY hungover or at Madame Lee's street stall in the alley two blocks behind the Imperial Hotel in Seoul, Korea.  She starts serving at 6:00 AM and her version will rock your world.  Trust me, been there, done that...

Again, out of nowhere, I am craving bulgogi.  OMG, this stuff rocks and I want it so bad I would sell secrets to the Russians at this point.  I think the last time I had bulgogi was about 18 years ago in Portland.  I managed to discover a wonderful little hole in the wall place that did this stuff proud.  I was a regular and as soon as she saw me walk through the door Mrs. Kim would start whipping up a batch for me.   She was 5 feet tall, snow white headed, smoked like a chimney and had a laugh that could shatter glass.  I loved her!!!

I first had bulgogi back in the fall of 1988 while I was in Korea on vacation.  First at Madame Lee's, totally be accident, which got me hooked.  For the next two weeks I ordered it every time time I saw it on a menu.  I quickly realized that their is no such thing as "a" bulgogi recipe.  Every time I ordered it, it was delicious but different.   From street stall to 5 Star restaurant this stuff went through a palette of changes that boggled my mind.  Up scale, down scale, back alley or street corner this stuff was addicting but always somehow a bit different on every encounter.  Madame Lee handed me mine wrapped in wax paper and sent me off to happily eat it while sitting on the curb.   The South Gate restaurant at the Imperial Hotel served it with 20 different add ons, sides and dipping sauces to accompany it.  I was in heaven for two weeks!!!  Now, granted, I did start to smell a bit funny.  Bulgogi tends to leach out of your pores after awhile.  Ahh, the power of bulgogi...

So, you ask, what is bulgogi?  It is a culinary masterpiece.  Perfection on a plate in my opinion.  Bulgogi is incredibly thinly sliced sirloin that is marinated overnight in a mix of soy sauce, sugar, fresh ginger, a bit of allspice, sesame oil, garlic, some squid ink, dried sea weed, scallions and shitake mushrooms.  It is then grilled with onions and bell peppers and served with whole leaves of butter lettuce to wrap it up in with fermented bean paste, kim chee, seasoned tofu, fish paste, oyster sauce, cellaphane noodles, marinated veggies (Korean salsa), you name it.  A little marinated squid paste is always welcome.  Then you go crazy with a variety of dipping sauces that range from mild to are you out of your fucking mind!!!  My favorite has always been the one that can only be described as guacamole colored peanut butter that could probably etch Italian marble.  They have a chili pepper in Korea that is deadly and it has made me a stronger man than I ever thought was possible.  It makes a habenero taste as bland as an apple.  Oh yeah, those things are FUN!!!

Madison has ONE Korean restaurant and it sucks rocks.  They have been forced to Americanize everything on the menu just to get 'sconsinite's to eat there.  Can you say "Taco Bell"?  A friend of mine once described their Yuk Gae Jang soup as being just as good as Campbell's Beef & Noodle.  WTF???  Yuk Gae Jang is supposed to be so firey hot that it will pit the bowl it's served in and make the spoon scream.  I have yet to enter the establishment.

My mouth has long been a petri dish for culinary onslaughts and mishaps.  If I've never had it, I will try it.  If I can't pronounce it, I will order it.  If I'm in an alley in a Third World country at midnight,  I will order a second one just to have another one on hand for breakfast the next morning.  If it has more than two eyes, four legs and "feelers" I will probably ask if I can get it beer battered and deep fried.  Hell, there's nothing that vodka can't make taste a little bit better in my opinion.  Or a six-pack of Cafri, a rather refreshing Korean rice based beer.   Especially at 9:00 AM.

Sea Squirt, you are in for the surprise of your life tomorrow morning.  It's bulgogi for breakfast!!!    I just know that he is going to call Family Services on me...  Happy dance!!!

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