OK, have you heard about this yet? A small village in England is apparently being terrorized by a clown. Yes, "terrorized". By a clown. In the name of meat loaf, how under medicated is this village? Or, perhaps, how OVER medicated is this village??? And it's not like the clown is doing anything weird. He's just walking around town, holding a bunch of balloons and greeting visitors. It's not like he's wielding chainsaws or publicly masturbating. Which by the way is now legal to do in Sweden. Masturbating that is, not the chain saw thing. What is Sweden smoking???
He, she or it (we're not sure yet) is just a clown. A clown, for christ's sake. It greets visitors. It welcomes tourists. That is not a threat, it's a fucking clown! Nothing is more fun than a silly costume, a strange wig of a color not found in nature, some polka dots, shoes the size of water skis and a seltzer bottle. Hell, throw in a bunch of balloons and you've got a party in my opinion. Yes, I may be a bit biased. If you've read this blog long enough then you know that I almost became a clown myself. I was nano-seconds away from a full scholarship at Ringling Brothers Clown College Aah, yes, that seltzer bottle could have been mine. Along with three midgets dressed up as pigs in a baby stroller. To this day I still have red foam clown nose sitting on the dresser in the bed room. Some dreams just don't die easily... And the sex can be truly fun.
Did you know that there is actually a medically recognized phobia of a fear of clowns??? Yes!!! It's called coulrophopia. I'm not shitting you. This amazes me. How the bloody hell can you be afraid of clowns? Let alone have a diagnosable disorder about them??? What, until we have a cure all we have is hope??? Fuck that shit, it's a clown!!! Deliciously enough, I actually know someone who has that disorder. (Oh, lord, I love that word...."disorder".) He's about the size of a grizzly bear and as big as a house. And just scared shitless of clowns. Well, of course I use this to my advantage. Hell, who wouldn't? I have brought him to his knees on numerous occasion with just the threat of a bucket full of confetti. Ahh, yes, such is the power of confetti...
I am bemused, bedazzled and bewildered that anyone can be afraid of clowns. We are a kind and gentle people. Unless we bite you on the neck, suck all of your blood out and bring you over to the dark side...
Heh, heh, heh....
No comments:
Post a Comment