TO BORROW A PHRASE FROM A 1960'S MOTOWN HIT, "I BEEN DOWN ONE TIME, I BEEN DOWN TWO TIMES"...

OK, my last rant was about that shit head president of Barilla Pasta.  I still hold fast and true to what I said.

I wrote them a rather scathing little email about my feelings and today I got a response.  I am now angrier than ever.  They sent me the most meticulously crafted form letter imaginable.  I have never seen this generic a form of  "damage control" in my life!!!

To paraphrase my email:  The president of your company is a jerk.  I have liberated my pantry of all of your products.  I will never buy them again.  You have lost a very loyal customer.  I am considering knocking your products off of the shelves the next time I go grocery shopping and start clog dancing on them.  Security cameras be damned!!!  I did not swear (very surprising) and I did not promise bodily harm or the threat to hunt someone done like the dog that he is (again, VERY surprising!).  Just your general complaint letter of anger.

Wanna hear the response that I got today?

"Dear Donn,

At Barilla, we consider it our mission to treat our customers and partners as our neighbors-with love and respect- and to deliver the very best products possible.  We take this responsibility  seriously and consider it a core part of who we are as a family-owned company.

We are working hard to learn from this experience and appreciate you taking the time to share your comments and valuable feed back.

Sincerely,

Barilla

(And now, the best part...)

Case # 264,837"

I just don't know which I love more, a company backtracking like an elephant in a landslide or that they had gotten over a quarter of a million complaints in less than 24 hours.  Yeah, I used to be a corporate drone myself and I know all too well how they handle this kind of thing.  Get generic as hell, admit to nothing and try to keep the bottom from falling out from underneath you.  I didn't like it 20 years ago and I like it even less now.  In the name of meat loaf, when you fuck up royal own up to it!!!  Do a little groveling!!!  Hell, do a lot of groveling!!!  You just got slammed with complaints.  You just lost a large customer base.  Are you deaf, dumb AND blind???

I am going to the grocery store tomorrow.  Not to go shopping.  I'm going to go all "River Dance" in the pasta aisle.  I will more than likely be arrested.  Yes, I am pissed off over pasta.  Very, very pissed off...